A man said to me, "Hey sis! Listen you must be doing something right, or in your past helped another, so keep doing whatever it is.,. Cause its evident.  Have a good day!

Man that touched me in so many places. This week alone I needed that warmth. I had a serious setback in my personal life not to mention an illness (that I can't shake at the moment).  I, at the time remained unable to figure out how to make it through other things necessary for the week and month.  My decision or lack of response would happen in 10 minutes or less.  I say ten minutes because it took about three to grasp what was really happening and being stated to me and two more to listen to it being conveyed   I had only one minute to resolve. 

I am thankful for my purpose. I am equally thankful for my close, personal and extended friends I have here in my life. 

A few years back, I questioned and doubted my purpose, even life itself but a big difference, is the people I've met on this journey moving forward, the ones in my life, who become what I call my "Safe Circle" now hold me up. Without me asking - when and if I get weak, depressed, unmoved, whether I'm hurting, overwhelmed, anxious, stagnant, troubled  or over-extending myself ( as passionate people do from time to time).  

What makes my "Safe Circle" different now vs. Back then during my trauma(s)?  Good question.  Well instead of turning/walking away and talking about me like others in my past...they talk to me, walk with me stand in the gap for me and hold my hand when needed, give me hugs ( I love and thrive off hugs! ) cause they know that’s what moves me...

I have made it #Fullcircle

The amazing thing is I was one person, alone providing all those things, standing up and in the gap for individuals and strangers, (who have touched my heart and remain), giving what I couldn't get after being raped... and again after my son died. It was in those times, what I needed most was love, encouragement, hugs, and words of affirmation.

Through my trials I learned how to heal daily.  Now I help others create, identify, maintain their own "Safe Circles" and take their own individual steps to heal daily.

All the love care support- I've given to so many is now continuously given to me and I am thankful.

I wanted to share this short note because I was asked how and why I am able to keep moving and I am always encouraged by others and sometimes their energy gives me the strength to move when I feel I can’t. I still get hurt, just recently   I might add but I am still here. I believe what I teach. You are bigger than your circumstance or situation and so am I , The teacher just needed a little nudge and reminder , so thank you universe  thank you for providing a way for me to see and become Thankful once again.

Jamila

Your Roots Matter-taken from Girlosophy 1997

LOVE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PAST. YOUR FUTURE DEPENDS ON IT.

Roots....

Where do you come from? What do you stand for?

I thought it was important to repeat this passage in writing because depending on where we are in life we can at times, whether intentional or subconsciously forget.

What and who we are as individuals take shape at our foundation (child development, growing years) but every day with our actions, our thoughts and our words we have the unique opportunity to consistently build upon that structure. The trick then becomes not to transform so high that we forget what or who we may be running from.

How can we do that?

We can accomplish this in part by self-monitoring our gut. We need to self-check often on our journey forward by asking the questions:

What am I casting aside by building "me" __________?

Who am I leaving behind on my quest to be better then my former self?

What am I willing to take with me ?

What Must be identified and eliminated? i.e. dead weight

Who can I reach with my history?

Why now?

Roots Matter : By Anetha Paul

They can make you - or break you.
Make peace with them, whatever they are,and be proud of your heritage, because it's unique.
Nothing, not even the most difficult upbringing or so-called disadvantaged background, need be a barrier to all the best things in life- Friendship, Love and Happiness.

So don't reinvent or cover up your past. Your story is as interesting as anyone else's.

Embrace your own beginnings and you'll find you can embrace the beginnings of others.

Whatever culture or tradition you come from, it is a part of your history and lineage. It is a part of you!

Love everything in your past. Your future depends on it.

You Can't Tell An Accident to Stop or Pause

You Can't Tell An Accident to Stop or Pause
By: Direct Wisdom

Alone yet free
only way to truly be
at least, that's what she was taught
re-calling lessons of :
don't be afraid to smile
keep your true joy inside
don't share your intentions, dreams, secrets
and even your laughter
learn how to hide
be seen, not heard, kill more bees w/honey, always keep your own money
don't start none won't be none but if you do, you know what to do

if you... if you... if you want to survive
if you... if you... if you want to survive

Silent yet deadly
gaze equaled personality
at least, that's what he thought
re-calling stories of:
everything but the kitchen sink, beaten into and out of sleep
building strength from childhood scars
living less, classic broken home, fridge resembles neighborhood bar
head of household yet only twelve stealing cookies, cakes, soda
afraid of momma but not of jail
learned to lie for safety and convenience
remembered the golden rule don't tell

if you... if you... if you want to survive
if you... if you... if you want to survive

They say opposites attract
polarization happens everyday
the magnetic pull of your destiny lies in wait
so there they are attached to tragedy succumb to false reality attracted to malady
but you can't tell a accident to just stop or pause

She programed to expect less but yearn for more
gratification of self never was covered, besides she learned they will love you when you let them lay inside.
so a pool of yeses, head nods are a birthright and a occasional whisper of at least he better then the last one

He has nothing begins to believe in and subscribe to it,just living for right now
self-love was not only foreign,unattainable but not tolerated besides he rather make it daily so clinic visits, buckets of I'm sorry and when I get out this time, become second nature of the tongue.

They say:
I saw it coming
why didn't she...why would he...
damn he should have...I bet she tried ….
you know y'all quick to do that..heard a unanimous you ain't never lied

everyone calms down starts to agree
recalling there own mishaps, close encounters
shaking their heads in disbelief
feeling lucky nonetheless
and who would've guess it turn this way
you heard them say: man just the other day
they cool then at it again
one stood quiet thinking
were was his so-called ...what happened to her so-called friends

then everyone forgets
shoulda woulda coulda's ain't never saved a life
today would be no different

They say opposites attract
polarization happens everyday
the magnetic pull of your destiny lies in wait
so there they are attached to tragedy succumb to false reality attracted to malady
but you can't tell a accident to just stop or pause
learned to lie for safety and convenience
keep your true joy inside
remembered the golden rule don't tell

if you... if you... if you want to survive
if you... if you... if you want to survive


* This poem touches on themes of gender, stereotypes, traditions, roles, domestic violence, self-esteem, men, women, childhood, abandonment, self-hatred, friendship, gossip, destiny, karma, hardships, containment, anger, survival, secrets, tolerance, history, relationships, silence, values, memory, displacement,unwarranted compromise and belief systems.